How to get depressed by a kindermetal song

In an attempt to distract myself from the bleakness of the surrounding reality, I started thinking what sort of musical shit I haven't listened to in a while but could get some mileage from at this point in the time-space continuum. For whatever reason, my brain went with 55 Escape. While the album and EP downed, I went to YouTube Forever, their signature tune. Still as pleasant as ever. I saw Open Your Eyes in the related vids... and remembering that I used to enjoy it back in the day, I clicked it.

Bad choice. The EP with that tune was released just as my relationship with my ex was bottoming out, and that song was a bit of a soundtrack to that. Nowhere near as much as My Love is a Knife, for example, but but it served as some sort of aural documentation of my misguided attempts to make both her and me happy somehow. This song was that - there were the nu metal elements of old (yes, I dig some nu metal, bite me), with the heavy guitars and whatnot, and there were the kindergoth elemenents with the angelic vocals and overall Evanescence-style vibe. So it was a best of both worlds. And somehow, now, listening to this track three and a half years later, I get overcome by all sorts of emotions.

Well, I wish I didn't flubbed it, in all honesty. I flubbed it hard, early, and the rest was just a long process of me ripping myself to shreds and her having to put up with it. Needless to say, in perspective I'm not all that proud of myself. But at least I'm being rekd hard by karma for this - I'm now 3.5 years older, fatter, balder and uglier, and nowhere near getting out of being single. I'm at that stage of my life that I'm becoming kind of too certain I won't find anyone. And I'm surrounded by people not being alone all around me, heck, even the other guitar dude from Nakpat has a girlfriend. He also had a charming housemate but he moved so there goes that. Not like she'd have wanted me anyway.

So yeah, just me moping over being a useless sack of shit, the usual show. This place still sucks, I've been away from home for over two months now, it's a bit much, I'm starting to walk on walls from this. I actually snapped midway through my last supervisor meeting and just bashed the crap out of myself and my work in a passive, defeatist, depressed manner. Is best manner.

Now I'm blasting's Perimeter's second record, as a demonstration of simple, testosterone-laden brutality. It's kind of working. As JR would say, fuck this gay earth. Enough moping, gotta get my shit together and last through this last week and then go home for a while.